Bloody Hell. I made a blog.

I just made a blog. Bloody Hell. Absatively amazing. (Yeah, I shamelessly ripped that word off from Neil Gaiman. Or Terry Prachett -or was that one T? Or both of them (I mean the authors not the T's). Who knows?)

I'm not the teckie type so this is quite a big leap for me. L-E-A-P. Leap.

My partner (in an IT company that bizarrely, I partly own) said that I should write a blog. So. There it is. Actually (considering my relatively tender age) I'm a bit 'traditional' in my usage of technology. I believe that all that teckie stuff should be left to all those boffins wearing white lab coats. Ha, ha indeed. I've gotten used to people doing all that teckie stuff for me since I'm ususally very busy. Yeah I'm sure that's it. I'm a very busy man. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Well, that's my excuse.

Oh right, I was saying why my partner suggested the blog.

He says that I can write (apparently). Actually, I do write. For a magazine. A car magazine. Its about cars. Yep. My style (as you may have surmised despite the subtlety of my technique) is based upon a (rather) absurd and cynical, well, style. I think that people put too much emphasis on doing things that'll look good to other people. Safe if you will. Everybody will say 'hey that's pretty good' all round. I like to write with more of an edge. I'm not saying its for everybody, but if you're smart enough, you'll find it quite liberating to see things my way (cue diabolical laughter).

That's the reason why I can't do the news. (Well maybe if I really tried..)

Okay, that's just my intro. More like an apology really.

Now. Something smart to say.

Lets talk about global warming. People say its why there's a lot of rain lately. While it all seems very weird and strange that a concept called 'global warming' is responsible for-

No, you're right. It IS boring. Lets just all buy hybrid cars and be done with it.

How about nature? I love the great outdoors (even if I don't really like being outdoors). But there's something about nature -the wildness of it- that really attracts me. Its all so simple. Draw a parallelism with our own seemingly complicated lives and you may see similarities. Frightening similarities. Predator and prey. Survival of the fittest. All those Darwinist concepts that govern the flora and fauna of the natural world have an uncanny resemblance with the microcosm (I like that word) that we 'homo sapien primates' have created -no invented- to govern our 'civilized' lives. (I'm guessing that if you're reading this you're sitting in front of a computer. Other wise, I'm pretty sure it'll be hard to access this blog from a cave or a burrow with only a vast network of plant roots to double as wiring. That means you're part of what we call 'civilized'.)

Just think about it. Are you a predator? Or prey? (If you're not Arnold, I suppose being the 'predator' is loads cooler. And you get great gear in the process. And you can get proper plastic surgery if you can't stand looking in the mirror. Or you can simply break the mirror. Either way, you'll probably get the same lie from your mother everytime you ask her how good you look.)

Cheers. And bloody hell. (cue remaining diabolical laughter)